I Am an Artist
Who are you looking at? I’m looking at you.
I don’t close my eyes. I never sleep.
Who are you looking at? I’m looking at you.
I’m a nobody. But you’re a somebody.
You are the artist. And I am the ambassador.
Your eye is my eye. But I create you.
You exist. Because I’m looking at you.
So, who are you looking at? Because you’re not looking at you.
Self Portrait in Blue
By Marina Black Media
I got my first camera at seven years old - it was a small digital HP point-and-shoot camera with a 2 GB SD card. I’ve never forgotten the rule of thirds. At 15 years old, my parents gave me a Canon Rebel T3 for Christmas; I have some great family photos from that evening. Photography has been a large portion of my life, and I never realized the capabilities of such an interest.
Growing up, I used a camera to take pictures of whatever I wanted – my cats, nature, and Lego stop motion. I never approached it with an intention other than it being something fun to do in the moment or to pass time. My father, on the other hand, always photographed memories - what he was doing, who he was with, and his family. As I got even more involved in this industry, I started connecting with photographers who all had different perspectives on why they do what they do.
We know about the different types of photographers (e.g. wedding, sports, media); we can see photographers who are socially constructed by society (e.g. the Instagramer, the artist, the next wannabe Peter McKinnon). A photographer’s vision and purpose are what cultivate their identity, and in any industry or role, these concepts of self can become uncertain or vague with everyday change. It’s not easy to embrace such ambiguity, but choosing to accept such fluidity can nurture evolution in oneself and one’s work.
Having completed my degree amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, I was isolated with the stress of feeling no purpose; I missed the challenges of hard work and self-improvement created by academia. Through this momentum, I developed the concept of Marina Black Media. It’s hard to describe everything that has happened since; challenging yourself can be demanding in its effort but incredibly thrilling in its reward. By creating a platform to house my portfolio, blog, photography, and other pursuits, I rebuilt my sense of purpose and found fulfilment in my projects. Within a year of creating my brand, I’ve been keeping steady work outside my day job, focusing on my creative instincts, and finding new opportunities to explore identity and expand professionally.
Since its inception, Marina Black Media has continuously changed its design, perspective, and versatility of work; this project sparks passion and fearlessness of evolution. I always knew I was artistic, but I never considered myself an artist. I’m proud to say goodbye to my pessimistic view of my work and embrace my artist identity.
Everyone admires bright blue eyes, and for such a photo, I admire them too. My Self Portrait in Blue has been one of the few instances where I feel like an artist; its subtle intensity stares through me. Having it on display at a Toronto art show last week was surreal. I enjoyed watching which photographs people gravitated towards – I knew there had to be some AE86 fans, cat lovers, and rock n rollers.
RAW was an incredible opportunity to network with art lovers and creatives, be recognized within the Toronto art scene, and bring art back to the public. Thank you to everyone who attended Marina Black Media’s first art showcase by RAW Canada, supporting me and 200+ up-and-coming artists.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without my father’s influence or the support from my loved ones – you all inspire me every day.
Mini Marina plays with her first camera.